So I recently finds myself in a situation, cornered and approached by some local goons. They must've been 'bout 8-9 years old, and mean looking. They put the squeeze on me (literally) and started pulling my ears. My ears! No respect. So when a nice schoolteacher took pity and rescues me, I turns on the charm. Made myself look cute and pathetic. What can I say, I still got it. She fell for it. She took me home and made me her "pet". Ha ha. So for the time being, I lay low. Gotta sweet gig over at the school. All I gots to do is eat, rest, hang out and look adorable. The kids, they gimme whatever I want. It's a piece of cake. They even gave me a civilian name - Marvel - can you believe it? If the old neighborhood could see me now. My old crew, Hoppy the Hitter, Crazy Bugsy and Voldebunny would be shocked.
My problem now is this low-rent resort I'm in for the summer. What is this "Lamb's House"? This ain't the Poconos. No private room, I actually share wit two females! They treat me nice, like I said I still got it, but c'mon. It's definitely below my normal standards. Where's the heart shaped tub? The champagne and roses? The prosciutto and pasta fagiol?
And don't get me started on the housekeeping. Can you say "whatdaheckah"? The same lady been cleaning my room for a month and she still don't get how I like my blanket. It's not rocket science lady. Is this your first job or what. She must be an immigrant from some third world country.
|shhh…. it's me|
|gettin' my hare done, get it, get it?|
But every time I try to make a sneaky exit, the Beast of the Big Snout appears. Where'd they get this guy? He's downright Medievel. He has this big black nose and long tail. His bark almost made me pee my fluff. Every time I look around the corner, he's there with his fangs. He makes these loud noises, then he whines and chuffs. I pretend I can't speak, I try to stay silent. But he's always watching, always watching. It's enough to give a rabbit the shivers. I have to wait until he lets down his guard, then creep past him. If only I had a getaway car. If only I could drive. I gotta make a plan. Hmmmm…..
|Buddy the Beast - see what I mean!?|